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Archive for the ‘Dating’ Category

Doing Relationships God’s Way pt. 2

March 23, 2008 3 comments

In part 1 of this article I suggested 4 things a person can do to avoid the suffering and disappointment so many single people experience while dating. Those four things were:

1. Get Right with God
2. Focus on Friendship First
3. Be Satisfied with Singleness
4. Go in a Group

Now in part 2 I would like to offer an additional 5 tips for doing relationships God’s way.

Read more…

Categories: Dating, Writing

4 Basics of Christian Relationships

February 1, 2008 Leave a comment

Here is a short list of the beliefs that I believe should provide a foundation for how a Christ-following man/woman looks at relationships in their life.

4 Basics of Christian Relationships

1. God is a triune God who enjoys relationship within himself and he invites the men and women he creates to enjoy relationships with himself and with one another

2. Men and woman are to treat one another as brothers and sisters in the family of Jesus Christ

3. God is a good God who created sex, and the entire sexual experience, for multiple, wonderful purposes and reserved it exclusively for the marriage relationship

4. Before entering into an exclusive, committed relationship with someone of the opposite gender we should know/love Jesus and know/love ourselves

Categories: Dating

7 Tips for Dating with Integrity

January 30, 2008 Leave a comment

Here are a few tips on how to date with integrity. I’ll be sharing these with a group of high school students on Saturday. These are definitely not all the things I did in high school, nor do they flow with the currents of culture, but they are the type of things I will be looking for in my kid’s dating relationships.

1. Get Right with God

  • All of your relationships need to be based on your relationship with Jesus Christ. He must be your first and greatest love above all others. If you are not pursing Jesus and the live he invites you to, then you shouldn’t be pursing anyone else either.

2. Focus on Friendship First

  • Lasting relationships begin as great friendships. Friendship provides the context for getting to know another person at their core, without all the pretense and pretending that can occur in a dating relationship. Dating relationships should flow naturally out of friendships as you find a man/woman who had a heart and mind like yours.

3. Go in a Group

  • Group activities provide all kinds of opportunity to get to know another person and build a friendship. Groups can also help you to build friendships with people who have similar passions and interests as you. There is nothing you should be doing alone with a person that you couldn’t do in a group.

4. Only be Alone in a Crowd

  • You don’t have to put yourself in a compromising situation to get to know someone more personally. Go for walks, meet at a mall or coffee shop, go with a group and sit next to one another. There is no integrity-driven reason to be isolated with someone from the opposite sex.

5. Ask for Accountability

  • Invite a friend or two into your relationships to help you identify your motives and weaknesses. Good friends help you remove the blinders that your feelings can create so that you can evaluate your relationships more clearly.

6. Be Mindful of Your Motives

  • Before you date you should be able to articulate the reason why you want to date someone exclusively. Why would this be more advantageous than friendship and group activities? When we are honest, many times motives of sexual desire or emotional loneliness drive us to pursue dating, when we really should be pursing Jesus.

7. Be Cautious with Your Commitments

  • Exclusively dating another person binds you to that person and creates commitments between the two of you that can leave lasting bruises should the relationship end. You should be careful what your words and actions are articulate (intentionally and non-intentionally) to the other person. If you are not looking or ready for marriage why would you bind your emotions with another’s.
Categories: Dating

The Seven Habits of Highly Defective Dating

January 28, 2008 Leave a comment

Being that I’m married I don’t lose much sleepy worrying about with whether or not God would have me ‘dating.’ But in the case that some of the people who may read this blog are single, and since I’ll be talking on Saturday with some teenagers who have the issue of dating dead center in their lives, I thought I would share something I found. This list comes from Joshua Harris’ book “I Kissed Dating Goodbye.”

  1. Dating leads to intimacy, but not necessarily to commitment.
  2. Dating tends to skip the ‘friendship’ stage of a relationship.
  3. Dating often mistakes a physical relationship for love.
  4. Dating often isolates a couple from other vital relationships.
  5. Dating distracts young adults from their primary responsibility of preparing for the future.
  6. Dating can cause discontentment with God’s gift of singleness.
  7. Dating creates an artificial environment for evaluating someone’s character.
Categories: Dating