Bad Day, Tough Call, Future Hope

A blogging friend posted this yesterday.

The worst day of my life was in 2000 when the doctor told us we could not have children on our own. Devastating. Eight years and two kids later, everything turned out better than we ever thought it would.

The second worst day of my life was today. Read more…

Very tough stuff. I know from experience though that his family will be taken care of and the work of God will continue on.

God Will Guide Us

I read this quote this morning here. It speaks to Stephanie and my life in a unique way right now…

“I am satisfied that when the Almighty wants me to do, or not to do, a particular thing, he finds a way of letting me know it.” -Abraham Lincoln

The Surprising, Steering Hand of God in Our Lives

For more months than I can count Stephanie and I have been wondering what God has in store for our future. We have experienced the hand of God working for our good the entire time, but there are still a couple decisions that we have been continually praying for guidance over.

I read this quote on Justin Buzzard’s blog this morning and it is strikingly similar to my own experience of God’s guiding in my life.

“As I review God’s steering of my life, one thing that stands out is the element of surprise at all the crucial points. I was never expecting what came; I was always projecting something else.”
-J.I. Packer

I know some of you who read this blog are also seeking the guidance of the Lord in some crucial things right now. I hope this quote inspiring you to seek the surprise, and allow less anxiety over your own finite projections.

Driscoll, Election, My Son, and a Hockey Game

I heard Driscoll give an example demonstrating how the doctrine of election shows God to be a loving Father. While listening to Driscoll I thought of an example from my own life.

A few weeks ago I took my three kids to my little brother’s hockey game. My one year old Andrew loves to run around and explore so while we were at the game it was a constant challenge to watch over him. I wanted him to have fun but I also know the dangers of letting a small child crawl up and down steps, bleachers and railings. More than once I sat Andrew down and told him what I expected from him but he kept getting out of his seat and doing the things that ultimately would wound him.

Andrew knew my expectations but he continued to choose his own way despite the fact that it would bring pain. Sound familiar? More than once I spoke to Andrew and told him to stop, to turn around and to come back to me. That is repentance. I pursued him and called him to repent. But he wouldn’t. Just like God pursues me and I don’t always stop and repent either.

Then, one time when Andrew was running and not looking where he was going, I noticed he was about to fall down a flight of stairs. I ran up behind him, grabbed him by his jacket and yanked him to safety. now, did I violate my child’s free will by yanking him back? Yes I did, but, did I do him harm? No, I saved him. Just like God has reached down and yanked me from certain pain and death because of my sin.

Driscoll Video on Predestination

A friend of mine who had been riding the Armenian/Calvinist fence recently watched this message and sent me a text message that read, “I am a total calvvy now!” Funny stuff. This is a great presentation on the doctrine of predestination. It is about an hour long.

If you have ever wondered exactly what most Calvinist’s believe about how people are saved you should watch this. It is especially convincing when Driscoll talks about the state humans are in because of sin and our inability to choose God because our sinfulness.

Watch the video or down below.

The Relationship Between Listening and Acting

For the past couple years Stephanie and I have been in a place of waiting, anticipating and questioning what God has for us in the future. Recently that feeling has been hitting Stephanie the hardest as she wonders about where God is calling her vocationally. It seems like we are in this weird place where every little thing gets shoved through a filter labeled “Is God trying to tell me something?”

Don’t get me wrong, I want to live listening to the Spirit and with an openness to follow, but I’m kind of getting to a point where I just want to take action and trust that God is in control and that he will work out all my decisions for my good. Otherwise I’m spending too much mental and emotional energy chasing down every dust ball that gets pushed along the front of my mind.

It is a delicate balance between wanting to please God and go where he leads and sitting around doing nothing and being perplexed under the guise of faithfulness.

God’s Big Perspective and My Little One

I spent the majority of my time at work last Sunday-Tuesday organizing candy. Due to Halloween and the large amount of candy my store was selling it was necessary to have a person watching over the candy area and thinking strategically about what candy should go where, what candy needed to be move aside, what candy needed to be replaced, and so on. Working under my leadership was a number of high school kids who wanted nothing more challenging than just throwing the bags onto an overflowing, unorganized pile.

Yesterday the pastor at the church we attended spoke, at one point, of how God is over all things and has a perspective that humans do not. He talked about how as humans we can only see a short distance in front of us, on our present, and backwards into the past. But God has a different perspective. He sees ahead, now, behind, next to, and all around us. God sees how different, unrelated (to the human eye) circumstances can all work together to accomplish his purposes.

Too often I approach God with the viewpoint of a high schooler who simply sees the pile. But God sees so much more, he has a strategic plan that he is working in each of our lives to bring about his purposes in this world for His glory.

Surrendering My Plan to His

After leaving ministry it took me a long time to come to grips with the truth that the growing I needed to do was going to take a long time. In fact, it took almost 18 months before I decided to stop worrying about my time line for getting back into vocational ministry. During those 18 months I would have jumped at the chance to speak at a retreat or teach a Sunday School class. However, with one exception, the call never came.

This August I believe the Lord led me to a place of surrendering to His plan and being willing to work on His time line rather than my own. I am holding on to the goal of one day pastoring again but I am much more content to grow my career and to further develop in the roles I am presently in. I am focused on learning and advancing in leadership in my new job, and I am less concerned with when I will get to preach again.

The funny part of it is this. At about the same time as I let go of trying to direct my own ministry life, within two weeks I received invites to speak to a Sunday School class two weeks in a row and to speak at a Youth Retreat in October. Funny how God works huh!

The Long Road From Captivity to Freedom

My mom sent me an email about a week ago that had some words from a devotional she reads. It was a timely reminder to me that 1) God is always good; 2) God is always in control; 3) God is always working on my behalf – even when it doesn’t feel like it.

Here is a snippet of the devotional.

God wants to deliver us from our bondage, but many times we want the easy way out… a short cut: “Get me out of this mess Lord, but please don’t let the way out cause me any pain or inconvenience.” God knows our weaknesses. He knows how easily we would slip back into bondage if we faced adversity in the easy way out. In His great wisdom and sovereignty His plan for the exodus of our bondage is not the quick, easy way. He will lead us out through a path that will create a dependency on Him. This path will also strengthen our relationship with Him, give us a renewed assurance of our faith, and equip us for a possible slip back into the pit. Read in Exodus verses 18-19, “So God led the people around by the desert road toward the Red Sea. The Israelites went up out of Egypt armed for battle.” Did you catch that last part about being armed for battle?

The way out of bondage is sure but not always swift. In some situations God shows His great mercy and the exit is quick – we’re left in awe by His power. In other situations, God chooses to take us by the desert road to strengthen us. Two things are certain no matter the route: victory for us and glory for our God.

Here is a link to the entire devotional.

Much Has Happened in the Last Year

Today was my second to last shift at the A&W. At this time tomorrow I will be enjoying a glass of wine and reflecting at all that has happened in the past year. I actually started thinking about it tonight and the list of things is quite staggering.

I am just three days short of working in the restaurant world for one year. Coming out of college I would have never dreamed that I would be 27 years old and working in ‘fast food.’ Yet I see clearly now how God’s strong invisible hand was directing my steps all along the way.

The last year has been an incredible time of self-discovery and reckoning. I have made confessions, faced past mistakes, identified things that trip me up, begun healing and growth processes, and challenged past patterns of thinking and being.

I have made some great new friends and I’ve seen the world from outside the Christian bubble I spent most of my life occupying. I have a better understanding of what life is like for people who are economically, intellectually, racially, and spiritually different from myself. I really value that.

My skills and resume as a leader have been bolstered. I wonder, had it not been for my A&W management experience, if I would have gotten my new position with Target. It is amazing to see how God brought all the pieces of this career change together.

• My brother’s lack of internship opportunities and his finally catching on with Target based on the mother of a girl he was in a relationship with
• Jeff’s referral of me to his boss
• My not being chosen for three other positions I sought this summer
• The sale of the A&W which released me from my commitment to the previous owner

These are only a smattering of the things that have happened during the last 12 months. The only constants have been the providential hands of God, the great love of Jesus, and his continual refusal to never give up on me or let me go. Praise Christ!